Pamela Ross, Editor

Happy 4/20! Whether you know this day best as the ultimate stoner celebration or Hitler’s birthday, you deserve to relax. Spark up a joint, suck on your vape, inhale deeply at a Phish concert – whatever the method, I hope you get super high. To help commemorate the occasion, I’ve assembled some of the most hilarious tweets about weed, all from the minds of women. Wow. I guess women really CAN do anything except become President of the United States or host a late-night network talk show – wait, I’m receiving news that Lilly Singh has achieved the latter. Congratulations, Lilly, and I hope you’re stoned right now!

Happy 420 day from Colorado or as we like to call it, Wednesday.

— Mmmkay? (@missekay) April 20, 2016

i only go on ebay after i smoke pot that way i'm always the highest bidder thank you check please

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 22, 2015

Mufasa: Everything the light touches is our kingdom.
Simba: What about the shadowy place?
Mufasa: That's where the cool kids smoke weed.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 4, 2016

Maybe cats can smell weed just as well as dogs, they're just not FUCKING NARCS.

— Chelsea Davison (@chelsea_davison) August 30, 2016

Weed has helped my anxiety, my stomach and my burping. It also makes me look cool AF 🤙🏻 pic.twitter.com/noYgcsp4NF

— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) April 20, 2019

happy birthday, weed

— How To Be Alone (by me Lane Moore) is out now (@hellolanemoore) April 20, 2019

if you have weed in your system, there's no telling what you're incapable of doing

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) August 18, 2014

Attention passengers: we have reached a cruising altitude of "high af"

— Emma Garton (@emmagarton) July 20, 2015

y’all so busy trying to burn some weed when you need to be burning the love of god in your heart. ✝️🔥you want to talk about getting high? the only high you need is the most high— jesus christ. you don’t need sativa, you need to be saved 😤

— ziwe (@ziwe) April 20, 2019

it's 4/20 today 😳 😱 but I'm not smoking weed 🌿 🍁 😏 🚬 I'm smoking 💨 😜 the bible 😇 🙏 📕 because heaven ⬆️ 😍 👐 😂 is the highest you can get 🙌 😤

— yani ☥ (@yaniharris_) April 20, 2019

Smoke all my weed once fool me once
Smoke all my weed twice fool me twice
Smoke all my weed three times fool me 3 times

— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) January 21, 2016

Ever get so high you have to turn the volume down on the TV to taste your food?

— Princess Anüs (@Slashleen) March 26, 2011

There are teenagers smoking pot in this parking lot I'm gonna throw an ax at them I bet you they get so paranoid

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) June 9, 2015

once I got so high that I answered my phone

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) September 22, 2014

It's really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you're buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos.

— Mary, Queen of Thots 🌹 (@SwearySpice) March 19, 2013

lmaooo,,,#StonerProblems #StonerNation … 😉 pic.twitter.com/U8toY4UDa6

— laa laa loopsieeeexo (@loopsy_laa) November 29, 2013