Humor/Local News

Old White Man Manages To Order Chinese Food Without Saying Oriental

Sarah Baker, Contributor

AKRON, OHIO – To the absolute shock of his relatives present, 72 year-old Gilbert Franklin managed to place an order for Chinese food delivery on Friday evening without using the offensive term “oriental.”

“I didn’t necessarily expect him say it during the call itself – though it’s happened before, and he insists it was an ‘accident’ every time – but the fact that he didn’t say it before or after is unprecedented,” said Laura Mastroianni, Franklin’s daughter, who mentioned his apparent need to comment on the strength of an employee’s accent and estimate how long they’d been “in the country” accordingly.

“He thinks that because he served in World War II, he’s allowed to talk about Asians however he’d like.  It’s unacceptable, but before we can explain to him why he’s wrong, he has to understand that more than one kind of Asian person exists – it’s like trying to teach a toddler to run before he can walk,” Mastroianni explained.

When reached for comment, Franklin asked if the reporter was “a Jew” but wouldn’t say why he wanted to know.