Quiz: Hollywood Or Salem Witch Hunt (9 Subtle Differences)

By George Newton, Contributor

Some have said there is a witch hunt going in in Hollywood, just like in Salem hundreds of years ago.  Being accused of witchcraft and sexual misconduct are very similar. However, there are some tiny details that are a bit different. Take this simple quiz to see if you can identify the nine subtle differences.

The accused were:

A) Physically tortured until they confessed

B) Forced to sit through awkward talk show appearances

 The accused were also:  

A) Hanged

B) Forced to hear that they don’t deserve a Golden Globe

Those who refused to confess were:

A) Crushed between rocks

B) Called names on Twitter

If they confessed, they were:

A) Exiled to the woods to die

B) Forced to lie low inside their mansion for a few months

During confessions, they:

A) Took full responsibility

B) Blamed others for how they were misunderstood

The accused were:

A) Women who were considered inferior

B) Men who were considered powerful

Some of the accused were:

A) Cut with sharp objects

B) Cut out of a movie

Among the accused: 

A) 19 were executed

B) They were all sentenced to life in prison (jk none of them have even been arrested)

What they have been accused of:

A) Can’t actually happen

B) Happens every day

All As:

You are in the Salem Witch Hunt. You have no good options and will probably suffer both physically and mentally.

All Bs:

You are in the Hollywood Witch Hunt. It may be bad for a few days. Don’t forget to say that women should always be believed—except in your case—and you should be fine.

George Newton is the head writer and director of Boston-based sketch group The Voices In Our Heads, which has appeared at ImprovBoston and The Riot Theatre. He still believes that people are laughing with him.