Local / Interview

Area Mom F@cking Pissed Kid’s Letters From Camp Are Too Long

By Sophia Joslin, Contributor

NEWTON, MA –  This summer, Janine Stilton, 44, made the decision to send her daughter Emma, 13, to Camp Sunset Lake in New Hampshire. “I wanted her to gain independence, increase her self-esteem, and develop leadership skills,” says Stilton. “and I thought maybe I could even fit in a yoga class for myself.”  However, all of Janine’s plans changed when detailed letters from Emma began to arrive every other day.
“Apparently at camp there’s been a lot of drama with what Emma calls ‘some basic bitches’ and a major controversy around the talent show casting,” Janine reports.  “I’ve had to respond to her letters constantly.”  Checking Facebook daily, Janine saw constant complaints from her fellow Sunset Lake parents that their kids’ letters were too brief.  “One Facebook friend of mine even got an empty envelope from her kid. She has no idea how lucky she is.”
“One day Emma’s ran out of gum to trade for mani pedis in the bunk.  The next day she’s having an existential crisis about a potential nuclear war with North Korea coupled with confusion about her sexuality.  Who has time for this?  This camp costs $5,000.  I think it’s well within the counselors’ responsibilities to solve a simple crisis like this one”, Stilton explained.
At press time, Mrs. Stilton was googling the meaning of the term ‘clap back’ so she could respond to her daughter’s latest missive.