By Marcia Baker, Contributor

Naples, Florida — Derek Bassey, 28, recently reconnected with his college girlfriend, Monica Hamilton, and according to him, things have been going well. “We’re keeping it casual for now, but I’ve been pretty hopeful about a longer-term thing” reports an exhausted and disheveled Derek, shielding his bloodshot eyes from the morning light.

“I got home last night and sent Monica a text to see if we could hang, so I was pretty excited when my phone buzzed right away. Then even more excited when she said she was up and sounded pretty into me getting over to her place fast. “Then I asked her what she was wearing ” Derek’s expression drops into despair as he recalls that it became clear that he in fact texting with his mother.

“It was horrifying. I must have made a typo and the address autofilled my mom.” What made matters worse was his parents central air wasn’t working.

“So I went over and spent all night fixing my parents’ air conditioning while they both hovered behind me making suggestions for the first three hours. I finally finished cleaning the condenser coils out at 5am, but by then the weather had cooled off and my parents were already off on their morning fitness walk.”

Derek says this is a “really depressing” reason to return to his apartment in the morning still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

We caught up with Derek’s mother later in the day and she told us she is “so grateful to have such an attentive son”, and that Derek “must have sensed she needed his help because of the unique bond between mother and child.”

At press time, Derek’s potential romantic partner, Monica Hamilton, told us she believes Derek is ghosting her, wondering aloud who Derek believes himself to be and that she “can’t even with this right now.”